Today I awoke with pancakes on my mind. Still bleeding, still aching, I brunched. Even innocent pancakes were too much after my internal marathon so I returned to bed and didn’t leave. I am exhausted and sore. My uterus or something inside spasms unpredictably from time to time.
Do you know that there are people who believe women use abortion flippantly as a retroactive form of birth control? You know, the whores of America who make a pit stop at the clinic for a quick abortion between shopping and manicures? What an impractical, absurd idea. Nobody does that. Nobody. Setting aside all of the potential psychological and emotional distress that accompanies an unwanted pregnancy, it’s physically incredibly difficult. Not only must a woman endure the side-effects of pregnancy for at least a month or more, the abortion process is expensive, painful, exhausting, and lasts for weeks following the actual procedure. I will be bleeding for the next month. A lot. I can expect continued cramping and hormone fluctuations over the next several weeks as my body copes with these monumental changes within me. The alternatives? Become a mother? Demand that women unwillingly commit to a lifetime of hardship if they are incapable of supporting a child on their own, knowing that financial assistance for low-income families is on the chopping block each year? Adoption? Forcing women to serve as a vessel for nine months without the financial resources to support themselves in the final months of pregnancy and during recovery? A body forever changed? None of these options are easy. Compared to the alternatives, abortion is the most sensible solution for most.
I know that everyone’s experience is different. Choosing abortion was not a difficult choice for me. I’ve never felt sad, or depressed, or unsure. I haven’t shed a single tear. My perspective does not detract from the physical and emotional hardship of the abortion itself.
An unwanted pregnancy places a woman between a rock and a hard place. There is no good solution. The clinic called this morning to check in on me. I thought that was nice.